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The Mind-Created Universe

The Unfinished Investigation A documented inquiry into mind, self, consciousness, suffering and freedom Why This Exists For much of my life I have been looking for something I loosely called truth . I did not always know what I meant by that word. At first the search moved through books, science, mathematics, literature, poetry and philosophy. Later it moved through yoga, pranayama, kundalini practices, meditation, dreams, lucid dreaming, yoga nidra, different spiritual traditions and increasingly direct observation of my own mind. For many years I was searching for answers. Eventually something changed. I began questioning not only the answers, but also the mind producing the answers . Then I began questioning the observer of that mind. Later I began questioning the assumption that there was an independent observer or controller at all. This blog is a record of that movement. It is unfinished because the investigation is unfinished. This Is Not a Teaching I am not writing this as a gu...
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When Thinking Reached Its Limit

  2. When Thinking Reached Its Limit — 2022 From Searching for Answers to Investigating Silence By 2022, the question that had emerged strongly in the previous year was still with me: Who am I? I had encountered many possible answers. The Self. Pure consciousness. Awareness. The witness. Something beyond the body and mind. Different teachers and traditions used different language, and I continued reading and exploring them. But gradually I encountered a different problem. Perhaps I was trying to solve a question about the mind entirely through the same mind. The Investigator Is Part of the Problem My natural tendency is analytical. When I encounter a difficult problem, I examine it. I divide it into smaller problems. I compare possibilities. I search for contradictions. I try to construct a logically consistent explanation. This approach works extraordinarily well in mathematics, science and engineering. So naturally I applied it to myself. Who am I? I am not merely my body because...
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Began as a Seeker — 2021

  1. I Began as a Seeker — 2021 Who Am I? The Beginning of an Investigation In October 2021, I started a small WhatsApp meditation group. I did not know that I was beginning a record that would continue for years. I simply wanted a place to share observations, questions, teachings that interested me, and things that seemed important during meditation. One of my earliest notes, on October 25, 2021, was: “No guilty feeling... Just accept things as they are.” Only two days later, the questions had already become much larger: “Who am I? From where I came? Where to go? Why did I come?” Looking back now, I can recognize the person asking those questions. I was a seeker. Searching for the Answer I had spent much of my life using an analytical mind. My education in mathematics, computer science and engineering had trained me to approach a problem by understanding it, breaking it into pieces and looking for an explanation. Naturally, I brought the same mind to spiritual questions. If there ...
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The Unfinished Investigation

The Unfinished Investigation A Journey Through Mind, Silence, Self and Suffering This is not a record of conclusions. It is a record of an investigation—and of conclusions that sometimes survived the investigation and sometimes did not. I began systematically recording my meditation observations in October 2021, but the search itself began much earlier. Long before those dated notes, there were years of reading, questioning, science, literature, poetry, yoga, pranayama, kundalini practices, dreams, lucid dreaming, yoga nidra, meditation and an often-unsystematic search for what I loosely thought of as truth . I moved through different teachers, traditions and explanations. At different times I found ideas compelling that I would later question. Sometimes an experience produced a conclusion. Years later, the same investigative process turned upon that conclusion itself. The observer became something to observe. The controller became something to investigate. Even ideas such as awareness...
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